Profit in the Sun

Backhand, Eleanor. Good shot! Forehand, Eleanor. Good shot! Give me a high five. Britt was my patient and encouraging tennis coach at the Pine Cliffs residence in the Algarve. In typical American fashion, he ignored the appalling shots and praised the few good ones. Given that I hadn't played in more years than I care to remember, it wasn't long before the sweat was rolling down me in rivulets and my face had turned a deep shade of cerise.

That's when he started to get worried. "You're quite athletic, Eleanor, but your face is turning very red". I assured him that I often turn that colour. It's one of my party tricks. But he was very calm and patient, and he claims that people who come to him for lessons often realise they've been missing the game and go back to playing. I may well be one of them.

I'm getting to the stage where a holiday isn't all about lying out and roasting my voluptuous body. Let's throw in a bit of action. So where better than the Pine Cliffs Golf Academy and Tennis Academy near Albufeira? It's part of the Sheraton group and is situated in the grounds of the Sheraton Algarve Hotel -- a vast resort with a variety of accommodation choices: the hotel, the golf suites, townhouses, villas and the recently built luxury two- and three-bedroom apartments, of which there are 154.

I stayed in one of the two-bedroom versions. It was all understated elegance with fabulous views. I could sit on my balcony, cigarette in one hand, glass of wine in the other, and watch the golfers struggling to get out of the bunker which was just underneath my bedroom window, secretly sniggering behind my hand.

During our stay, we sampled most of the restaurants, from Italian to sushi to Portuguese. In Il Guardino, I ate the sea bass fillet baked in parchment paper, with courgettes, asparagus, cherry tomatoes and herbs. In O'Pescador, I had the symphony of fish and seafood with champagne and tarragon sauce. Every palate and purse is catered for, and nothing is nicer than to sit outside the golf club with a gin and tonic and a sandwich. The sushi restaurant is funky, and not being up to speed on sushi, it was with some trepidation that I approached the assortment the chef recommended. To my surprise, I loved most of it. The tempura vegetables were to die for.

Given that it's a short commute from the airport in Faro, it's an ideal destination for a long weekend of luxury and activity, with everything at your fingertips. There are 10 restaurants, numerous pools, tennis courts, a nine-hole golf course (which is recognised by the Portuguese golfing federation), two gyms and a children's pirate village.

Despite the fact that it was very nearly full, at no stage did I feel it was crowded. In fact, I could walk from my apartment to the hotel, meeting only a handful of people. There's also a shuttle service around the resort. But the piece de resistance is the beach. The access is by a glass lift which descends between two spectacular cliffs, connecting to a wooden walkway, which in turn leads to a stunning sandy beach with a multitude of water sports and a beach bar. We partook of the vast and colourful buffet lunch, washed down by a bottle of wine, looking out to sea. Bliss.

Given that I have an innate fear of water, I passed on the water sports, but undertook the golf lesson with Monia Bernardo, who is the number one female golfer in Portugal. She was fantastic. We chatted about the Ryder Cup and Nick Faldo, most of it unsavoury, and then just to please me she started talking about people like Eamonn Darcy, just to show me she knew exactly where I hailed from.

I explained my lack of prowess with irons and that I prefer using the driver. She was appalled.

"You're not playing long enough to be using a driver, get used to the irons first." I played along and proved just how bad I am with irons. Fresh air, the ground, my leg. She reluctantly gave me the driver and had to concede defeat. I genuinely am much better with a driver. She assured me in a very good-humoured way that I had psychological problems. I assured her I'm aware of this fact. She was great fun and a very good teacher. I took some solace from sitting on my balcony later and watching an immaculately kitted-out glamour puss taking what to me looked like a good swing and hitting the ball two feet in front of her.

Albufeira is the nearest town and only a 10-minute drive away, so we ventured in for a spot of shopping. Originally a seaport, some of it was destroyed by an earthquake in the 18th Century. Buildings that survived have been carefully maintained, and having gone through a period of acute poverty, the town is now dependent on tourism. Its population rises hugely in the tourist season.

While there are two exceptions to the rule (our guide referred to them as "mistakes"), no building is higher than 10 storeys, by law, and it makes a huge difference to the skyline. The town is set in cliffs and the view from the promenade on to the beach down below is reminiscent of an olde worlde resort. The streets are paved with black and white mosaics. This was originally invented as a means of using up the rubble from the houses destroyed by the earthquake. We had a guide for an hour or two, who thankfully left us to wander through the old town and soak up the atmosphere.

At one stage, an elderly man was standing outside his house shouting in Portuguese. I thought he was losing the plot, but when I queried his problem with the guide he assured me he was merely calling his dog. There was very much a feeling of local life going on amidst the multitude of tourists. But if you've been to Albufeira before, there's no need to leave the Pine Cliffs resort. Everything is there. Hairdresser, beauty parlour, mini market and, above all, year-round sun, sand and pure hedonism. I still have two tokens for the driving range, so I'll be back to use them!